FAST SKILL

Session Online Version

Theme song: Watch “Don't Worry Be Happy” video.

MINDFULNESS “MUSIC” EXERCISE

Music can have a profound effect on both the emotions and the body. Faster music can make you feel more alert and concentrate better. Upbeat music can make you feel more optimistic and positive about life. A slower tempo can quiet your mind and relax your muscles, making you feel soothed while releasing the stress of the day. Music is also effective for relaxation and stress management. (University of Nevada, Releasing stress through the power of music, 2019)

Discuss: What was your experience like listening to the music What did you notice?

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Review your commitments from the GIVE – DBT Skill session:

·      Use the GIVE Skills Practice Worksheet to practice the skill.

·      When what you are doing isn’t working, use the What Stops You from Achieving Your Goals Handout to troubleshoot the problem.

·      Complete the Weekly DBT Diary. 

·      Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT skills.

1. Self-respect effectiveness refers to acting in a manner that maintains or increases your self-respect after an interpersonal interaction. How you go about attempting to obtain your objectives requires self-respect effectiveness skills. The key question here is how to ask for what you want or say no to a request in such a way that you will still respect yourself afterward. Some people lose respect for themselves if they cry and or get extremely emotional during an interpersonal interaction. Others lose respect for themselves if they get extremely angry, mean, or threatening. Still others lose self-respect if they give in and act passively, rather than sticking up for themselves.

Watch: “Back to the Future” video.

2. When being true to ourselves and feeling good about ourselves are the central goals in an interaction DBT has the FAST Skills. This skill helps us ask for what we want or helps us to say no in such a way that we still respect ourself afterward. FAST stands for:

·      (be) Fair to yourself and to the other person. It’s hard to like yourself over the long haul if you consistently take advantage of other people. It’s also hard to respect yourself if you are always giving in to others’ wishes and never sticking up for your own wishes or beliefs.

·      (no) Apologies. Don’t over or under apologize. You don’t have to apologize for sticking to your principles, for being you or disagreeing.

·      Stick to your own values. Don’t sell out to get what you want, to fit in, or to avoid saying “no.” Do what is right for you according to your values.

·      (be) Truthful, Do not lie, exaggerate or act helpless.

GEORGE McFLY SELF RESPECT ACTIVITY

Pretend you’re Michael J. Fox’s character from the “Back to the Future” film. Using the four FAST skills write down how you could encourage your “movie dad” Crispin Glover’s character to say or do something different the next time he is in a similar situation with Biff?

(be) Fair:

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(no)Apologies:

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Stick to your values:

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(be) Truthful:

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Discuss: Share what you wrote with the group.

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3. Building mastery of DBT skills requires doing difficult or challenging things. Helplessness is the enemy of mastery. Overcoming obstacles is one route to mastery. Most effective people in this world do not have fewer obstacles; they just get up after falling down more often than other people do. Getting up after falling down is mastery. How many times we may fall down is irrelevant. The drive to mastery seems to be innate, small children learning how to walk keep falling down and getting up, falling down and getting up. Although totally different movies and movie characters both Crispin Glover’s “George” character and Denzel Washington “Whip” character in the “Flight” film learn that no one can take away your self-respect unless you give it to them.

Watch: “Flight” video.

4. When what you are doing isn’t working, you can troubleshoot the situation by asking yourself questions on the “What Stops You from Achieving Your Goals Handout”. Worries sometimes get in the way of using our DBT skills. Some worries may also be myths we hold about getting along with others. We can counter these worries by challenging them with our Wise Mind or by trying out interpersonal skills with other people to see whether or not our worry thoughts are true. For example, by standing up for our values, even when we are worried that it might make a person not like us anymore. Sometimes worry thoughts can come in handy as a way to stop the action, slow you down, and think about whether you are saying something impulsively. It is important to check the facts, your emotions, and Wise Mind. Ask is it effective to ask or say this right now? Is it mainly worry thoughts that are stopping you?

5. Here are some sample Worry Thoughts and replacement Wise Mind statements you could say to a friend, loved one or yourself.

Worry Thought: Why bother asking? It won’t make a difference anyway.

Wise Mind Statement: Just because I didn’t get what I wanted last time doesn’t mean that if I ask skillfully this time, I won’t get it.

Worry Thought: My friend hasn’t texted, so they are probably mad at me.

Wise Mind Statement: There are a lot of reasons for not texting, I can handle it if I don’t get a response.

Worry Thought: If I ask for something, she’ll [he’ll] think I’m stupid.

Wide Mind Statement: I can stand it if I don’t get what I want or need.

Worry Thought: If I say “no,” they’ll be really angry at me.

Wise Mind Statement: If I say ‘no’ to people and they get angry, it doesn’t mean I should have said ‘yes.’

Watch: “Annie Hall” video.

6. As you read the Worry Thoughts going through the minds of Diane Keaton’s and Woody Allen’s characters in this scene from the “Annie Hall” film what are some replacement Wise Mind Statements they could have been thinking instead? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

CREATING WISE MIND STATEMENT ACTIVITY

Step 1: Describe a Worry Thought you have had in the last couple of days. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Step 2: Challenge the Worry Thought by questioning it. What questions could you ask yourself?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Step 3: Create a Wise Mind replacement statement.
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Discuss: Share your worry thought and its Wise Mind replacement with the group.

Watch: “FAST & Combat Worry Thoughts End Credits” video.

As we roll the end credits for the FAST & Combat Worry Thoughts – DBT Skill think about what is the most important thing you learned in this session and what will you do differently because of what you learned? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Session Commitments

Practice the FAST Skills, use the worksheet.

Identify one Worry Thought every day and create a Wise Mind replacement statement.

Use the “What Stops You from Achieving Your Goals Handout”

to trouble shoot interpersonal relationships.

Complete the Weekly DBT Diary.