IMPROVE THE MOMENT SKILL

SESSION ONLINE VERSION

Theme Song: Watch “In My Room” video.

MINDFULNESS “SAVORING” EXERCISE

Step 1: Close your eyes and take three deep cleansing breathes.

Step 2: Open your eyes and allow them to settle on an object in front of you. Don’t stare or focus too much on that object, instead allow your gaze to soften and your eyes to un-focus slightly. Don’t pay attention to the sharp outlines of the object, instead allowing them to blur and merge and fade into the background.

Let 15 seconds pass before moving on to the next step.

Step 3: Experience a closeness with the object, as if there was no separation between yourself and what you are looking at. Use your senses as the gateway to pleasure and enjoyment, as if you could drink in the joy from the beauty of that object enjoying its color, texture and shape.

Let 15 seconds pass before moving on to the next step.

Step 4: Let the object as a whole nourish you becoming aware of the positive feelings in your mind and body as you savor this experience.

Let at least 15 seconds pass before moving on to the next step.

Step 5: Focus your attention on these positive feelings. Really absorb yourself in them, without holding on to them too tightly, or trying to make them last. Just allow yourself to be open to and appreciate this positive experience in this moment.

Let at least 15 seconds pass..

Discuss: What was your experience like? What did you notice? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Review your commitments from the “Wise Mind ACCEPTS” session:

·      Practice the Distracts with ACCEPTS skill using the accompanying worksheet.

·      Complete the Weekly DBT Diary.

·      Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT skills.

1. DBT’s IMPROVE the Moment skills help us understand ways to improve the moment we are in by managing what we are doing internally within ourselves. Improving the moment is replacing immediate negative events with more positive ones by making the moment more positive and easier to tolerate. IMPROVE strategies include both changing the way we think about ourself or the situation we are in, they make it easier to survive a crisis without making it worse.

Watch: “Amélie” video.

2. The main character in the “Amelie” film works to improve the lives of those around as a way of dealing with her own isolation. Look at the change in how the “Dominque” character thought about himself and his situation when Amelie returns his childhood treasure box. From despair to finding encouragement and meaning. The way his body responded to the event, from tense to having a cognac. Focusing his mind in a helpful way on one thing in the moment.

We can IMPROVE distressful moments in our life by:

3. IMAGINING very relaxing scenes. Imagine a secret room within yourself, the furniture in the room, the locks on the doors, the things that make it feel safe. room. Practice going into the room whenever you feel threatened. Close the door on anything that can hurt you. Imagine everything is going well. Imagine coping well. Make up a world that is calming, beautiful and let your mind go with it. Imagine hurtful emotions draining out of you like water out of a pipe. How has visualizing relaxing, comforting or confidence-boosting scenes helped you build confidence and courage or made goals more motivating and achievable by picturing them?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Finding or creating some MEANING, purpose or value in the pain. Not every problem has a silver lining, and this is not about trivializing a painful situation. Focus on whatever positive aspects of a painful situation you can find. Repeat them over and over in your mind. We can find ways to learn from mistakes, find valued others to connect with when there has been loss or distress, and transform pain into acts of kindness. How have you worked to actively create meaning out of pain —to make lemonade out of lemons?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

Watch: “You Can Close Your Eyes” video.

5. Opening your heart to PRAYING to a Higher Power, greater wisdom or your own wise mind. Think about something hard that you are going through right now. Close your eyes and ask for strength to accept the pain, rather than asking “Why me?” and for the crisis to be taken away. Remember it won’t be long before another day. Have you ever used prayer to cope with distress? If so, have you found it helpful?

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6. Try Progressive Muscle RELAXATION and the other three TIPP skills. Change the temperature of your face with very cold water. Do intense aerobic exercise for 10–20 minutes Changing your breath cycle with paced breathing. Often people hold tension throughout their bodies, as if that could change the situation. How have you used relaxation to change how your body responds to stress?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Focusing your entire attention on one thing you are doing right now in the MOMENT. Put your mind in the present. Be mindful of the physical sensations that accompany common household tasks like washing, doing dishes, cleaning or just walking. Be aware of how your body moves during each task. How has being preoccupied with past, future, or negatives about the present, contributed to your missing the neutral or even pleasant features of the moment you are in? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. Talking a brief VACATION from the stresses of life, from adulthood. Get in bed and pull the covers over your head for 20 minutes. Rent a motel room at the beach or in the woods for a day or two. Ask your partner to make dinner tonight (offer to reciprocate.) Make or buy your favorite snack, find a comfortable place and eat it slowly. Bring a blanket to the park and sit on it for the whole afternoon. Turn off you phone for a day. Take an hour breather from hard work that must be done. How has it helped you to stop dealing with a situation for a short period of time and take care of yourself or let someone else take care of you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Watch: “The Pursuit of Happyness” video.

9. We are often our harshest critic, (self-invalidation). ENCOURAGEMENT requires that we talk to ourself as you would talk to someone you care about, or as you would like someone to talk to you. Cheerlead yourself. Repeat over and over, “I can stand it”, “It won’t last forever”, “I will make it out of this”, “I’m doing the best I can do.” “You want something…Go get it”. What have you said to support others? What have supportive others said to you when you were going through tough times? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. It is important to balance improving the moment with staying in the present. Invalidating environments (people, places and things) may lead us to overuse these skills. The secret of this skill is to remember that the only pain one has to survive is “just this moment.” We all often suffer much more than is required by calling to mind past suffering and ruminating about future suffering we may have to endure. But, in reality, there is only “just this moment.”

Watch: “IMPROVE the Moment End Credits” video.

As we roll the IMPROVE the Moment DBT Skill end credits think about what is the most important thing you learned in this session and what will you do differently because of what you learned. Write your thoughts below.

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Session Commitments

Practice at least two specific IMPROVE Skills during the week when you feel distressed:

Complete the Weekly DBT Diary 

Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT skills.