SELF-SOOTHE

SESSION ONLINE VERSION

Theme song: Watch “When You Walk Through a Storm” video.

MINDFULNESS “BODY SCAN” ACTIVITY

Accepting our body “as it is” helps anchors our awareness to the present moment.

Step 1. Let your feet rest on the floor, willing (open) hands in your lap, eyes closed.

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Step 2: Bring awareness to the bottom of your feet as you notice the feeling of them resting against the floor.

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Step: As you continue to experience the sensations in your feet, allow yourself also to become aware of your breath moving in and out of your body. Imagine your breath moving in and out through the bottom of your feet.

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Step 4: As you inhale, allow your awareness of your feet to sharpen. As you exhale, allow tension and tightness to be released from your feet. As you breath in focus your attention on your feet; as you breath out release any tension in your feet.

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Step 5: Continue your body scan as you through the major muscle group -- your legs, thighs, hands, belly, arms, back, shoulders and neck, jaw, face and eyes. Remember as you breath in focus your attention on that part of your body. As you breathe out, release tension in that part of your body.

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(Note: This exercise can be lengthened by adding more parts of your body or shortened by just scanning a few parts.)

Discuss: What was your experience like? What did you notice?

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1. Self-soothing is a DBT Distress Tolerance skill that involves engaging in pleasant, comforting, and calming activities focused on the five senses. It relieves stress or pain by helping you move your mind away from unwanted thoughts, feelings, and impulses. These mindfully kind techniques are meant to be used in moments of distress or emotional discomfort; when acting on impulses may be harmful; when distraction from emotions may be beneficial; or when problem solving isn’t possible.

2. We learn how to self-soothe from the moment we enter this world. Our first connections between our thoughts, feelings and body occur as newborns. Infants learn how to self-soothe through means of thumb-sucking. From an early age we begin to learn and understand that we are capable of healing ourselves, something that we need to acknowledge and remember as we move through life. While it’s believed that the ability to self-soothe develops in early childhood from the internalization of comforting experiences, even if you didn’t naturally develop self-soothing techniques, you can learn them.

3. Self-soothing activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), helping to:

·      Decrease or slow down impulsive urges

·      Decrease symptoms of anxiety, stress, and panic

·      Decrease vulnerability to intense unwanted emotions

·      Decrease physical discomfort, increase comfort

·      Increase our ability to tolerate pain and distress

·      Increase our ability to focus on the present moment

·      Increase insight into emotional experiences

·      Increase self-control and confidence

Watch: “Singing in the Rain” video.

4. Gene Kelly’s character in the “Singing in the Rain” film didn’t wait for the storm to pass, he sang and danced his way through it knowing that it would eventually end. Like all of the Distress Tolerance skills self-soothing is a short-term temporary tool that allows us to overcome difficult situations and negative emotions. Some of us struggle with the idea of self-soothing. We may believe that we are not deserving of soothing, kindness or gentleness. That self-soothing is ‘shameful’, or that others should be responsible for soothing you.

Discuss: What makes difficult for you to self-sooth? Why may you find it difficult to even think about doing anything “self-soothing” when you are upset?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Although it may not feel natural at first, self-soothing skills can become extremely useful if you give yourselves a chance to practice. The point of self-soothing skills is not necessarily to make ourselves feel better; it is to prevent us from feeling worse and engaging in a maladaptive coping strategy. Think of these activities as a sort of emotional tourniquet. If you are in a lot of distress and pain, a tourniquet does not necessarily help you feel better or fix the source of the problem, but it does save your life.

6. Over use of self-soothing can develop into patterns of long-term emotional avoidance. For example, when your discomfort becomes too much to handle if you lie under a blanket for hours you aren’t engaging in life in a healthy or effective way. These kinds of self-soothing behavior have an escapist quality to them. We think we can escape or 'flee' from difficulties through overindulging in food (comfort eating), alcohol and drugs (self-medication), gambling, shopping, sex addiction (acting out), etc. Beware of using ineffective self-soothing techniques. Once they become habits, they can be especially hard to break.

SELF SOOTHE TECHNIQUES ACTIVITY

List techniques you have used to self-soothe. If you get stuck turn to the “Self Soothe Worksheet” included with this session for some ideas. Which self-soothe activities can you access immediately?

Touch ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Taste

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Smell ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sight

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Movement

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Discuss: Share what you learned from doing this activity with the group.

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7. Research shows that something as simple as doodling can be self-soothing. It's thought to calm the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls the 'flight or fight' response—which is linked to stress and anxiety. Stress is toxic, and doodling can help mitigate its negative effects. The rhythmic and repetitive motion of drawing elicits what Harvard cardiologist Herbert Benson identified as the relaxation response. By synchronizing the hand and eye—thereby allowing the coordination of body and mind—doodling can become a calming and meditative experience. https://www.forbes.com/health/healthy-aging/doodling/

DOODLING ACTIVITY

Step 1: Find a blank piece of paper and doodle for at least 3 minutes.

Step 2: Share what you created with the group.

Discuss: How did doodling make you feel?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. It is important to balance self-soothing with focusing and working on a task. This is especially important during crises, when sudden demands feel overwhelming and keep you from doing what is required. In such a scenario, self-soothing can be an effective first step to bring down the negative emotions. However, self-soothing alone is not sufficient for resolving crises. It needs to be followed by working on the task and getting it done. You might use one of the TIPP skills as a way to reduce feeling overwhelmed, followed by problem solving, and then followed by self-soothing as a reward.

Watch: “Self-soothe End Credits” video.

9. As we roll the Self-soothe – DBT Skill end credits think about what is the most important thing you learned in this session and what will you do differently because of what you learned. Write your thoughts below.

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Our Session Commitments include:

·      During a crisis situation use the Self-Soothe Worksheet.

·      Complete the Weekly DBT Diary Card.

·      Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT principles and skills.