DBT03. What & How

SESSION ONLINE VERSION

Theme song: Watch “Living In The Moment” video.

MINDFULNESS “WISE MIND” EXERCISE ACTIVITY

Step 1: Keeping your eyes open, find a good place to rest your eyes. Bring to mind something you want to do, are doing right now or don’t want to do in the future. Focus on that “something" (if it helps write it down).

Step 2: Notice your breath coming in and going out as you breathe naturally.

Step 3: As you inhale ask yourself, “Is doing or not doing this something Wise Mind?” As you exhale, listen -- don’t talk. Keep asking with each breath in and listening with each breath out. Step 4: See if an answer comes to you. If not, perhaps there is no answer now, you need to learn more about the situation or perhaps you are too ambivalent to know the answer.

Step 5: When you are ready gently bring your attention back to the room.

Discuss: What was your experience like? What did you notice? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Review your commitments from the Wise Mind – DBT Skill session.

·      Use the State of Mind Worksheet to observe myself in each state of mind.

·      Complete the Weekly DBT Diary.

·      Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT principles and skills. 

Discuss: Did you run into any obstacles completing these assignments? What experience did you have practicing DBT principles and skills? Write your thoughts below.

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1. Mindfulness is being aware of your present moment (thoughts, feelings and physical sensations) without judgement and without trying to change it. It is full awareness, having an open mind. DBT’s mindfulness skills are the way to synthesize Emotional Mind and Reasonable Mind and access Wise Mind. There are three mindfulness “What” skills and three mindfulness “How” skills. What skills are what we do when practicing mindfulness and the How skills are how we do it. These are the skills that will help you to get into Wise Mind.

Watch: “Forrest Gump” video.

2. The three mindfulness What skills are Observe, Describe and Participate. Forest Gump’s character mastered the art of using just one of these what skills at a time – not all three at once. Think of the Observe skill, as “word-less” watching. Like Forest notice your experience in the present moment. Observe both inside and outside yourself, using all of your five senses. Watch your thoughts and feelings come and go, as if they were a feather on the breeze. Don’t push them away. Just let them happen, even when they’re painful. Slow yourself down to a “preverbal” level to just notice. We’re all prone to quickly put words to an experience and make interpretations as a way to make sense of that experience.

Discuss: Why is it important not to rush to describe or act on the experience?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Don’t push away your thoughts and feelings. Just let them happen, even when they are painful. Observe outside of yourself -- look at pictures, people passing by, objects, nature -- using all the five senses sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Observe inside yourself. Watch your thoughts and feelings come and go as if they are on a conveyor belt or as if each one is a cloud in the sky passing overhead. Notice a wave of emotion building in your stomach; notice your palms getting sweaty; notice the tightness in your chest; notice any thoughts passing through your mind. Have a Teflon mind. Let experiences come into your mind and slip right out (not holding on), like a Teflon frying pan. Think of your brain as a popcorn popper, see your thoughts and emotional reactions as just going to pop. Notice them popping, one after the other, without trying to control them. Or as if your mind were a blanket, spread out to accept every leaf, twig, or raindrop that falls on it.

Watch: “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” video.

4. Like Richard Dreyfuss’s character in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” word-full watching is putting words on your experience. “This means something. I know this is important.” Describe only what you have observed. No interpretations, just the facts. For example, “I feel sad.”, “My face feels hot.”, “I feel my heart racing.”, “I’m having the thought that I can’t do this.”, “I noticed I had a lot of worry thoughts related to my job interview.” Instead of saying that person has an “attitude”, you could describe that person as rolling his eyes or speaking with a loud voice.

OBSERVE AND DESCRIBE YOUR THOUGHTS ACTIVITY

Step 1: For the next minute observe your thoughts by jotting down a hash-mark [|] as each new thought pops up. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Step 2: As each new thought pops up put a word next to the hash-mark with your observation of that thought.

Discuss: What did you learn from this experience?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Participate, or throwing yourself fully into the present moment is the last what skill. How many of you notice your mind focusing on upsetting past events, worrying about the future, or being grabbed by distractions? Maybe perpetuating your own misery. If you are not focused on the current moment, you are not living in the moment. DBT calls this “living with your eyes closed”. Become one with whatever you’re doing without being self-conscious. If you are not living in the current moment, you will not be able to access the potential joys of that moment. Being Mindful is “living with your eyes wide open”.

Watch: “Ferris Bueller” video.

Discuss: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Ferris Bueller. Is Ferris crazy as he friend Cameron says or is he living with his eyes wide open? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. There are three “How” skills. Don’t judge. Stay focused. Do what works. When you are judgmental, you are evaluating rather than participating. Notice but don’t evaluate as good or bad. Acknowledge the harmful and the helpful, but don’t judge it. You can’t go through life without making judgments; your goal is to catch and replace them with descriptions so you have more control over your emotions. The more you are aware of and observe your own judgments, the more readily you can access your Wise Mind, make Wise Mind decisions, and reduce suffering. When you find yourself judging, don’t judge your judging the “Let Go of Judging Worksheet” can help you develop this skill.

7. Stop multitasking, try to do only one thing in the moment. “Multitasking is not efficient, it can cause information overload, be potentially stress inducing, and cloud one’s awareness of thoughts, feelings, and urges” (Parker-Pope, 2010). In order to be mindful, it is important to slow yourself down enough to do one thing at a time. Let go of distractions and refocus your attention when it drifts, again and again. Staying focused helps ensure that past, future and current distractions don’t get in your way.

8. Do what works. Acting alone on feelings usually doesn’t work. To be effective focus on what works to achieve your goal. Don’t let emotions control your behavior. Cut the cord between feeling and doing. Play by the “rules” which may vary at home, school, work. Act as skillfully as you can to achieve your goals. Let go of negative feelings e.g., vengeance and anger and “shoulds” that can hurt you and make things worse.

Watch: “What & How End Credits” video.

As we roll the What & How - DBT Skill end credits think about what is the most important thing you learned in this session and what will you do differently because of what you learned. Write your thoughts below.

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 Session Commitments

Complete Let Go of Judging Worksheet.

Use the Mindfulness What & How Skills Practice Worksheet to practice these skills. 

Complete the Weekly DBT Diary.

Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT principles and skills.