DBT02. WISE MIND

SESSION ONLINE VERSION

Theme song: Watch “Closer to Fine” video.

MINDFULNESS “SQUARE BREATHING” EXERCISE

Step 1: Start by getting into a comfortable seated position in a chair or on the floor

Step 2: Once all of the air has been expelled from your lungs, start by inhaling to a count of four through your nose. Say the numbers to yourself in your head. By the time you reach four, your lungs should be completely full of air. As you inhale, imagine the air pouring into your lungs and making them and your abdomen expand. Make sure that you are practicing abdominal breathing when you do this. When you inhale, your abdomen protrudes out; your shoulders should not rise up. If you notice yourself breathing with your shoulders, this means that you are taking shallow breaths and are not practicing deep abdominal breathing.
Step 3: Hold the air in your lungs for a count of four. Again, say the numbers to yourself in your head, and count slowly. Picture the air filling up your lungs in your mind's eye.

Step 4: Breathe out slowly to a count of four through your mouth. By the time you are at four, all of the air should be out of your lungs. Picture it moving up and out of your lungs, through your windpipe and finally mixing with the air in front of you.
Step 5: Hold your lungs in an empty state for a count of four. Focus on the emptiness of your lungs and the smallness of your abdomen. (Anahan Wellness, Square Breathing, 2019)

Discuss: What was your experience like? What did you notice? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Review your commitments from the Orientation to DBT session:

·      While you are participating in this group commit to DBT’s treatment assumptions.

·      Identify behaviors that that I would like to decrease and skills that I would like to increase.

·      Complete the Weekly DBT Diary.

·      Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT skills.

1. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) being Mindful is being aware of thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that you are experiencing at this moment. Mindfulness is being aware of the present without judgment and without trying to change it -- instead of getting pulled into the future or the past. By becoming aware of our emotional states and urges, we can develop the capacity to mindfully select a more skillful response, rather than reacting impulsively. Individuals need Mindfulness to be able to make effective use of all the other DBT skills.

Watch: “The Matrix” video.

Discuss: Would you take the red or blue pill? Do you think it is more effective to free your mind (red) or live in blissful ignorance (blue)?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Mindfulness trains our minds to focus on only one thing at a time. If you are truly participating in this moment as it is, you can laugh out loud without being self-conscious; play basketball without worrying about people in the stands watching you; have an intense heart-to-heart conversation with a loved one; eat a meal slowly and really notice the taste, smell, and texture of the food; go for a walk outside and literally smell the roses. You will be aware of things you don’t typically notice because you are usually thinking about your to-do lists instead. Being mindful is one of the only ways to access joy and pleasure; this is living life with your eyes wide open in the present moment.

3. To better understand Mindfulness it helps to understand that at any given time, we might be in one of three States – Emotional, Reasonable or Wise Mind. Emotional Mind is “hot,” ruled by your feelings and urges. It is what you FEEL to be true. It is when you are acting or thinking entirely based on emotion, without planning, using logic, or thinking rationally about consequences. The following emotions come with the potential corresponding actions:

FEAR →           Escaping or avoiding

ANGER →        Attacking

SADNESS →     Withdrawing, becoming passive, isolating

SHAME →        Hiding, avoiding, withdrawing, saving face by attacking others

GUILT →          Overpromise that you will not commit the offense again, disclaim all                                             responsibility, hiding, lowering head, begging forgiveness

JEALOUSY →   Verbal accusations, attempt to control, acting suspicious

LOVE →           Saying “I love you,” making effort to spend time with the person, doing what the other person wants and needs, and giving affection

4. An emotional mind is not always a problem, but sometimes it is. Don’t confuse being highly emotional with Emotion Mind. People often have intense emotions without losing control or at the expense of reason. Sometimes allowing yourself to have a good cry over a sad event is an effective thing to do. Emotion-filled dancing at your best friend’s wedding, singing at the top of your lungs at a concert with your favorite band, or jumping up and shouting when your team wins a play-off game, might be joy-filled events that you remember for years to come.

Watch: “Field of Dreams” video.

5. Emotional Mind can sometimes lead people to do more problematic things then turning prime Iowa farmland into a baseball field. Instead of just crying, the sad person may end up staying in bed, not going to school or work, etc. Even positive emotions can sometimes lead to problem behaviors, like Kevin Costner’s character doing a number of things impulsively when he got excited by “the voice”. Reasonable Mind is “cool,” ruled by thinking, facts, and logic. It is what you THINK to be true. It is when you are acting or thinking about something without emotions present or without taking your feelings into account. It’s logical, planful, rational, ‘just-the-facts’ kind of thinking. It may involve problem solving or thinking about consequences. Reason can be very beneficial. However, there are disadvantages of making all our decisions or acting only in Reasonable Mind.

Discuss: Do you know someone in your life who seems to act only from Reasonable Mind? How do you experience that person?

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6. Wise Mind is the synthesis or blend of Emotional and Reasonable Mind. You cannot overcome Emotion Mind with Reasonable Mind. Nor can you create emotions with reasonableness. You must go within and bring the two together. Wise Mind is what you KNOW to be true. Wise mind helps us think more clearly in the presence of strong emotions. It is the wisdom within each person and the state of mind to access that wisdom that helps us avoid acting impulsively when we need to make an important decision. Rather than just a combination of emotion and reason, when we draw from both the Emotional and Reasonable Mind, we reach a sort of elevated state that involves an intuitive form of knowing, thinking, or acting. If that feeling, hunch or impression is informed by both logical and emotional information, it’s probably Wise Mind that we are hearing.

Watch: “Inside Out” video.

Discuss: Riley’s sigh and half smile at the end of the scene is a sign that she is in which state of mind?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

THREE MINDS ACTIVITY

On a daily basis guess what percentage of the time (out of 100%) do you spend in each state of mind. Briefly describe your emotions, thoughts and behaviors while you are in that state.

Step 1: Reasonable Mind: ___% How do you know when you are in Reasonable Mind? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Step 2: Emotion Mind: ____% How do you know when you are in Emotion Mind? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Step 3: Wise Mind: ____% How do you know when you are in Wise Mind? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Discuss: Share what you learned about your states of mind during the past week. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Learning to find Wise Mind is like searching for a new channel on the radio. First you hear a lot of static, and you can’t make out the lyrics of the music—but over time, if you keep tuning in, the signal gets louder. You will learn to know right where the station is, and the lyrics become a part of you, so that you can access them automatically—just like you can finish the lyrics immediately if someone starts singing a song you know really, really well. Working through the “State of Mind” worksheet will help you develop the DBT skill of being in control of your mind rather than letting your mind control you.

Discuss: What have you found to be helpful in “dialing” into your Wise Mind.

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Watch “Wise Mind End Credits” video.

As we roll the Wise Mind – DBT Skill end credits think about what is the most important thing you learned in this session and what will you do differently because of what you learned. Write your thoughts below.

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Session Commitments

Use the State of Mind Worksheet to observe myself in each state of mind.

Complete the Weekly DBT Diary.

Come prepared to the next session to share your experience using DBT principles and skills.